School, yaaaaaay!

Summer's officially over and here I am on my bed typing these as I am dreadful of going back to school tomorrow. Yes, tomorrow's the start of a new chapter yet again. A fresh start as what would everyone say. I'm actually pretty excited for what's in store for me this semester. I hope everything turns out well for me and for everyone I know. I have 2 major subjects + 2 electives, no biggie. I'm going to be writing and writing and writing for all I know. Not that I'm complaining though, I'm just saying that I don't have a problem with writing. The time constraints blow so I have yet to be actually good at time management.

What I have learned from the past semesters would be of great help and boost me to be a better student slash person slash whatever you want to insert here. N O C R A M M I N G would be one of the many things I should practice. It's hard to not cram when you're a college student but hey, it's fun! Okay, I'm kidding. It's really stressful so I should stay away from it. "I haven't experienced cramming in my whole life." Said no normal person ever!

This semester would be a whole lot different one since I swear I'd be more focused on my studies and of course spread good vibes as what this post is all about. I guess it's true how people say when you send good vibes, you receive good vibes in return. Talk about good karma huh?

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On High Hopes and Disappointments

Have you every found yourself thinking that the person who you thought was the best for you, is actually the reason why you're messed up? I have. A couple of times actually. I don't know why I can't get out of it as much as I want to. Believe me, I've tried to do it a couple of times but I always fail. It's like he's the magnet and I'm a piece of metal, that whatever I do, I just can't stay away from him. Maybe it was easier then to have never tried getting in. Had I thought that I would be wasting a lot of sanity, I wouldn't have even bothered building what seems to be this friendship that is hard to maintain.


I actually never thought that it needed a lot of effort to sustain this kind of relationship. I never signed up for this. The moment that you let him make you feel irrelevant is the time that would forever mark you. Well in my case, I always felt bad about myself just 'cause I couldn't please him – that I wasn't good enough for anyone. It's as if a curse has been put on me that I should have a taste of all these when I'm at my happiest. Everything becomes a wreck as soon as you think it's perfect. Well, nothing's perfect but you see my point. But this time, I should make a stand. Maybe I wasn't the one who burdened him. Maybe it's the other way around. Maybe it has always been like this but I hadn't realized it until now.


I think the thing that somehow holds me back is the thought that all the things that I've put up with will all go to waste. That all the efforts made would soon go down the drain and as cliché as it sounds; only the memories will be left. Of course it took me a while before I realized I was fighting this battle alone. Actually, there was a slight hope that maybe, he'll come to his senses and realizes that he might lose me. Indeed, I wasn't wrong. My expectations grew bigger until I couldn't handle it. In the end, I got disappointed at myself as my hopes were so high that it failed me. Well, I wouldn't blame anyone else. As a matter of fact, I've brought this upon myself which is why I should live with the consequences of it. I know it will be hard – harder than you can ever imagine. But I guess I have to do what I should have done a long time ago.


So the question lies. Do you think it's right to let go of someone who you've greatly invested to because everyone including yourself believes it's for the best?

Photo Credit: Tumblr
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

The One

Be honest, we all have the ideal person in our mind. I might sound crazy with all these and maybe I've seen a lot of rom-coms which shows flawless relationships which usually doesn't happen in real life. It may actually sound awfully ridiculous but I've came up with a list of that someone.

He would be someone who would not kiss me in the morning when I've just woken up just because he knows that it's unhygienic and believes that we have to brush our teeth first. But he knows that we can kiss right after. We would cook meals together as much as we can, eat it and have those "how did you day go?" conversations.

Due to our tight schedules, we wouldn't get to see each other as much as we'd love to. But we would make time for ourselves and have dinner. He would give me flowers, and even though I tell him how I hate them, he knows deep inside I love them and still surprises me with a dozen or two. He would spoil me every chance he can until I grow tired of it and tell him but doesn't stop. He would be funny and would always make ma laugh and would love my laugh, even my most embarrassing kind of laugh. He would know how I love to go to the movies and would come with me although he's tired from work. He would give me his hanky when he sees me crying over that stupid movie he didn't even want to see.

He would be someone who won't get tired of reading the articles I make and tell me his opinion on it. He would constantly tell me how good my writing is but wouldn't lie to me if it isn't. He would help me research and probably tag along when my boss assigns me to go out of town when he's free. We would celebrate whenever my writings get published even though I have been published so many times and never forgets to tell me how he's proud of me.

I would be crazy about him but not as much as he is with me. We would argue on a lot of things, but the day won't end until we figure things out. We would encounter a lot of issues in our relationship because no relationship is perfect, but that would not let me love him any less. He would be there to witness me on my happiest, but would not leave me in my darkest days. He would listen to me rant whenever I have to, and tells me I'm wrong when I really am. He would give me those forehead kisses when I need them just because he knows that it always make it better for me.

Someday, I will meet this person and right there and then; I will know. All the "woulds" will all be real and maybe, just maybe, he is the one.