Thursday, May 25, 2017

Am I Not Good Enough? Why do I have a feeling that I'm not.

Taiwan 2016

Revisiting all my drafts and I see this one from 2013 that's somehow still close to my heart. Has nothing really changed since then? It's funny how a 21-year-old Nadine thinks. But here goes...

Have you ever wished that you'd be good at something? Not just like that run of the mill good but become extremely good at it. Like, if you were to be great at something, what would it be?

I wish that I'd be good in arts and design. Come on. Where was I when God showered people with artistic skills. Was I hiding in a humongous shade that I didn't get any of it? Anyway, that's really not the point.

Sometimes, I wish that I'd be a lot better in writing. That I'd get to explain what I'm feeling more and to actually touch the one reading any of my pieces. It's great when someone can somewhat relate to you. You know how it is. It's just hard to write especially when there's a lot going through my mind that I can't put them all down to words. Just like what's happening now actually. It's really frustrating sometimes that I can't express myself well. I really don't know if it's a good thing that I have a lot of rubbish in mind that most of the time I can't convey

You think it's easy to write... You just sit in front of a blank page and write it all down but it's not. I hope it works that way though, then it will be easier for me. This is exactly why I'm jealous of the real writers out there, that they have all these magnificent thoughts about everything and that they could write it all down.

I know I have a lot of insecurities that I have yet to fix, in reality and when it comes to my writing. Well, I know that there's no one perfect. But maybe perfect isn't something we all want.

And that's totally okay.