Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Euphoria

I never thought that I would ever be euphoric. It's insane how a person would feel so much happiness and not worry about anything for a moment.

Sure, we all remember a memory from childhood when we wanted a toy so bad and got it. That's a different kind of happiness. Different in so many levels.

Right now, it's just different. We become adults and forget the actual feeling of happiness. Sometimes, we even disregard the emotion and just go on with life which is hard.

In life, I've always believed that everything happens for a reason and that reason becomes a reason behind another reason which is pointless at times.

It's really hard to focus on happiness when all you can think of is how tomorrow will be.

Forgive me, I sometimes say pointless stuff.

Sunday, July 29, 2012

Nadine Macandog X Annika De Guzman

thepurplecentipedecupcsnadine

One of the most creative people I know personally, Annika De Guzman drew this for me in exchange of Red Velvet cupcakes from Cup Cs by Nadine! (shameless plug hihi) I wish I knew how to illustrate but unfortunately, I'm only gifted in drawing stick people. Anyway, I'm excited since we have a lot of things lined up. Talking about ambitious things excites me most! I can't wait to share all of it when it's final.

Empowered

I might have done the craziest thing ever. I actually told someone I like him. It has been roughly 5 years since I've done something like this. It went horrible since I was expecting he would like me back. Turns out, he liked someone else. Anyway, he's in the past and I've buried the experience a long time now.

Well, I've wanted to tell him for as long as I can't remember but hadn't had the courage to do so until now. Read an article on Thought Catalog a few weeks back and thought I can do it so I did. I never thought I could tell him directly since I'm a coward when it comes to these things so I'm really proud of myself. After I told him my heart out, I've come to realize that I have just been trapped in the thought of having feelings for this certain person. These past few days, I've been really happy but there's something that has been pulling me from being genuinely happy. I thought that it would be just okay if I had teeny-tiny emotional baggage from him. Turns out, it can't work that way. It's either I have full affection or have nothing at all. I can't be the girl who just keeps on hanging there and waiting. I'm the girl who always has to do something about it and not care about what the outcome may be, although I tend to overthink most of the time. Well who doesn't?

It's overwhelming how this situation would empower me. I never thought that it would be possible but it is and I have never been this happy in my life. Finally, something that I thought would affect me negatively so much, has affected me otherwise. As of this moment, I have no "what ifs" anymore.