Sunday, July 29, 2012

Empowered

I might have done the craziest thing ever. I actually told someone I like him. It has been roughly 5 years since I've done something like this. It went horrible since I was expecting he would like me back. Turns out, he liked someone else. Anyway, he's in the past and I've buried the experience a long time now.

Well, I've wanted to tell him for as long as I can't remember but hadn't had the courage to do so until now. Read an article on Thought Catalog a few weeks back and thought I can do it so I did. I never thought I could tell him directly since I'm a coward when it comes to these things so I'm really proud of myself. After I told him my heart out, I've come to realize that I have just been trapped in the thought of having feelings for this certain person. These past few days, I've been really happy but there's something that has been pulling me from being genuinely happy. I thought that it would be just okay if I had teeny-tiny emotional baggage from him. Turns out, it can't work that way. It's either I have full affection or have nothing at all. I can't be the girl who just keeps on hanging there and waiting. I'm the girl who always has to do something about it and not care about what the outcome may be, although I tend to overthink most of the time. Well who doesn't?

It's overwhelming how this situation would empower me. I never thought that it would be possible but it is and I have never been this happy in my life. Finally, something that I thought would affect me negatively so much, has affected me otherwise. As of this moment, I have no "what ifs" anymore.