Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Losing One Best Friend is One Thing; Losing Two is Another

Perhaps I'm the type of person who gives more and expects to be treated the same way. Maybe it's comforting for me to claim a person is a best friend since most of my legit best friends live far from me now. One lives in sunny California (Grace) while the other in the busy streets of Manila (Stephanie). Yes, we get to talk almost every day via BBM or iMsg but it's different when you talk to them eye-to-eye.

Anyway, on with this post. I really liked this guy "best friend," he was just so charming or so I thought. I actually wrote a few pieces about him and almost all of my friends know how I am with him, it was a crazy 4-year thing. He was just so toxic for me that Steph made me choose between the guy or the girl best friend. Of course I chose the latter. Come to think of it now, everything would have been okay if he haven't said anything at all. I can't believe how I've grown to hate him since I really didn't want to.

The girl "best friend" is a different story I don't want to put emphasis on. Let me just say that we're all faced with choices and it's up to us to make wise decisions. I'm not saying that she didn't choose wisely 'cause I'm sure she thought about it a lot and chose the better option (if you know what I mean). If I had to express my feelings, it would be anger and disappointment. Angry because I don't know the person she's become. Disappointed because I mistakenly thought our friendship was real. It's just so hard, especially coming from her, and with the same reason she was sorry about roughly 2 months ago. I'm hurt so much that I blame myself for all these.

I don't regret anything though. In times like these, the silver lining would be finding out who would take a bullet for me. I'd love to think that everything happens for a reason. I may be faced with these impediments, but I know I'll rise up. And duh, someone out there has bigger problems than I have.