No More Promises

Re-reading my old journals before I bid 2013 goodbye. It's funny how I was a completely different girl back then. I'm actually surprised of how I've become in just a span of 3 years. I may have found and lost my passion in-between but I can't wait to revisit what I believe I really want for myself. I opened up 2013 with a lot of promises and have broken almost everything on the list. So instead of making new promises, I'd rather be surprised with what 2014 will bring. A few weeks ago, I had this nice talk with a really good friend and he told me to find my passion and work on it and I think that's what I'm going to be busy about this year.

The Number Game

So there's this number game that's been going around Twitter the past days. Mechanics: DM me a number 1-500 and I'll tell you how I feel about you in a tweet without anyone knowing. Remember your number.

You didn't give me any number but here's what I have to say about you. I've loved you so much that I can pretty much do anything for you. My closest friends know that for a fact. I can still clearly remember the day I told you that I had feelings for you. You were telling me that it was just normal and that it was okay. But it was not 'cause I don't usually profess what I feel about a person.

Apparently, my feelings grew bigger that even I couldn't handle them. I've been in love with the thought that you'd change your mind about me or at least have made up your mind. A lot of our friends keep on telling me that I should just brush off my emotions and forget about it; forget about you. God, I wish it was that easy. 

I once had this same situation with someone else and I don't want that to happen to us. I don't want my love to turn into anger and then learn to hate you. I don't want to feel these towards you because it's just different with you; you're different and because at one point, we were really friends.

Just recently, my friend told me to just end all of this. "Easier said than done," I abruptly said. She then asks me, "has he done something for you?" And then it hit me, you haven't done anything really but to make me like you even more and hate you at the same time 'cause you can't reciprocate what I'm feeling.

Then there's this game that made me realize that we had no real connection going on. Call me shallow but it's the truth. This so-called friendship of ours isn't over yet though. I don't regret anything I've ever done to/with you, I hope you don't as well. I just need time to breathe and accept everything. 

Okay? Okay.

It's been a while since I posted something about a book I read. Today was a free day for me since my school celebrates its 75th anniversary. Not the point. It's actually my 2nd time to finish this book and I must say, I couldn't stop sobbing throughout the story. It's just so good and you can feel the character's joy and pain that you create this world of your own to just take a moment and feel everything. The story's really beautiful it made me love and hate John Green at the same time. It's just sad how Augustus Waters died, I really didn't see it coming and thought Hazel Grace would die first. Listed below are a few of my favorite quotations in the book.

“I'm in love with you, and I’m not in the business of denying myself the simple pleasure of saying true things.”

—	Augustus Waters

“But I believe in true love, you know? I don’t believe that everybody gets to keep their eyes or not get sick or whatever, but everybody should have true love, and it should last at least as long as your life does.”

—

Isaac

“It would be a privilege to have my heart broken by you.”

—	Augustus Waters

"You gave me a forever within the numbered days, and I'm forever grateful."

— Hazel Grace


"The marks humans leave are too often scars."

— Augustus Waters

These are just a few of course. If I could post everything here then I would but this post would be too long. The book's a really good read, I must say. Grab the book and see for yourself!